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Stop Making Decisions for People You Don’t Know

| August 14, 2015

The other night I was sitting on the sideline watching my son Anthony’s (age 10) football practice… and I noticed, what I guess was, a strength training exercise. The coach was having the boys sprint up a very steep, grassy hill and walk back down – only to do it all over again.running up a hill

On the surface this may look like a good idea – building muscle and stamina (I guess…)   Here’s the concern. 10 year old boy’s don’t walk down hills –  they run – and running down a steep hill in cleats, shoulder pads and a helmet is a bad idea. In my mind, I’m imagining a twisted ankle or sprained wrist. While these thoughts are running through my mind, I start to get a little frustrated.


4 Questions to Clarify Meanings and Shape Opportunities

Here’s what is running through my head.

Any benefit that may come from this exercise is minimal, when compared to the potential for injury.  It just doesn’t make sense to me.


Here’s where it gets a little crazy.

– because it was obvious to me, in my mind it should have been obvious to him.  Now I’m real frustrated.

I was expecting Anthony’s coach to be able to read my mind.

We all do it…  all the time and it’s one of those things that usually (and painfully) gets noticed in hindsight.

Mind reading is costing you sales, income, opportunity and it’s limiting your options.human brain

A person mind reads when he presumes to know, without direct evidence, what another is thinking or feeling.

We do it often.  It is sometimes an intuitive response to some non-verbal clues that we have noticed.

Often it’s pure hallucination, or what we ourselves would think, or feel in that situation.


We project our own thoughts and feelings into the situation and experience them as coming from that person.

People who mind read usually feel they are right, but this does not guarantee they are.

Why guess when you can ask?

4 Questions to Clarify Meanings and Shape Opportunities

There are 2 types of mind reading.

The first type is when we presume to know what another is thinking and feeling.

Here’s an example;

“Jim was angry, but he wouldn’t admit it.”

“It’s no use calling the President of that company, because they won’t take my call and if they do – they won’t be interested.” 

The second type of mind reading is when we assume other people have the ability to read our minds… and sometimes this shows up when we blame someone for not understanding when we think they should.

“If they were interested in xyz, then why didn’t they say so?”

“Everybody knows that to get started –  we have to complete the application…”

Ummm, no they don’t.


Now, Because the best ideas are the ones we actually use…


Mindset; this is the WHY – The reasons and attitude we bring to what we do.

The assumptions we make are questionable to say the least.  They’re biased solely on the information we have and how we feel about that information.

Strategy; this is the HOW – How can we put this idea into our business.

One of the specific rules we coach to is;

“We have to be very careful about making decisions for people we don’t know.”

Technique; this is the WHAT – What can we do specifically today to make this idea work for our business.

What we’re aware of – we can control, but what we’re unaware of controls us.

Just like anything else catching ourselves reading someone’s mind or expecting them to read ours – gets easier over time, but here’s a great question to ask yourself to get started.

“How exactly do you know?”


Let your competition get boxed in with no options – lose sale after sale, because they’re making decisions for people they don’t know.

YOU challenge yourself a little bit.  Ask “How exactly do I know?” Then start to uncover some of the assumptions that are costing you money.


The competition they don’t have this Mindset, Strategy and Technique…

You’re Selling More by Talking Less.

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Category: Selling More by Talking Less

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